The Oscars 2009

My best friend may be someone's partner now, but I'm still his hag, and I have my duties to him- such as watching the Live Telecast of the Academy Awards Red Carpet with him and his man. The gay equivalent of the Superbowl.

Thanks to the magic of Foxtel IQ, I recorded it and we watched it together after work hours last night. We three and a half people ordered in and had dinner in front of the TV because....
A. I have a baby at home.
B. My husband is away overseas again.
C. I live near the city (where work is).
D. They'd use any excuse to swing by this area.

They left to have a drink at The Wharf. And I'll try and get the riveting highlights down.

His pick for best dressed: Marisa Tomei in Versace

He thinks that it's "pure drama-rama, baby". Gorgeous pleated details, so well constructed. She had the right hair and accessories, too.
I think that it's a great dress on a great body. It would be perfect if it was in a more daring colour. Like Red. She can wear any colour, really. This is playing it too safe.

His pick for worst dressed: Jessica Biel in Prada.

He thinks the dress had no shape and she was wearing black closed toed shoes with this white dress! "OMG, MAJOR CRIME!" Her hair was kinda "blah- like what she would wear to the mall." "What a waste of a Prada!" He went on and on....
I think that the dress is very architectural- a great dress BUT she could've played up her voluptuous figure in a better dress. Think Versace.

My pick for best dressed: Alicia Keys in Armani Prive.

I think it's a classy overall look. The dress is very flattering because it skims her curves where it needs to be skimmed and the dress is very structured where it needs to hold her in. It's a great colour on her. She usually picks Armani Prive and it always works.
He thinks that the best thing about the dress is the hair. There's too much unnecessary ruching going on in the bodice, adding too much bulk on the torso, but not enough bulk on the bust.

My pick for worst dressed: Nicole Kidman in L'Wren Scott

I think it's awful. Are those feathers or fibre optic wire fountains on her dress? It does nothing for the dress at all, especially the ones on her cleavage. Everytime she chooses white, she manages to look all washed out. Like a tall glass of milk. And what's with that hair? Is it a bob or not?
He thinks: Ditto. "Boring, boring, boring! NEXT!"

Honourable mentions:
Penelope Cruz in vintage Pierre Balmain

This is what you're supposed to look like when you're a 16 year old at the debutante ball. Check out the prom queen hair. Oh God, get a stylist. She rocks the sexy vixen look. The demure, innocent look just doesn't work on her.

Tilda Swinton in Lanvin

Age-appropriate and very flattering. I love, love, love the draping. In fact, I'm going to buy that black skirt!

Heidi Klum in Roland Mouret

She's a gorgeous woman who can wear anything in the world and still look good. It looks like something the designers at Project Runway cooked up for a challenge.

Angelina Jolie in Elie Saab

This is one designer who knows how to flatter a woman's curves. Great choice. And the green earrings and ring looks SO striking against a black dress like this one. She's just a beautiful woman- with her, it's not about the dress, it's all about her.

"Within four seas, we are brothers"

After reading a post about the Malaysian opposition leader Anwar Ibrahim's visit to a Chinese language school by the very astute and highly enlightened blogger Antares, I spotted a familiar phrase and wanted to share this:


Up to 2006, Sydney Chinatown gates had the very same quote by Han Yu San: "Within the four seas, we are brothers."- the English translation is above the Chinese letters.



Now, the gates proclaim "Understanding, Virtue and Trust."- again, note English translation above the chinese letters.

Chinese Malaysians would be so proud to live in a country with a leader who encourages pride (instead of shame) in your heritage- please remember that when the next election comes around in Malaysia.

Anyone who ticks the box next to "Cina" or "India"- consider the possibility that you might be able to live in a country under a government that values you, not your race. I don't tick next to those boxes, but anyone with a fraction of chinese blood would scream out in pride. And I do.


I am so very proud to live in Australia at the moment under a leader (Kevin Rudd) who has apologized to the Aboriginals for crimes against their people nearly a century ago. A leader who speaks an asian language (Mandarin) as fluently as he speaks his own. His daughter Jessica married a Hong Kong-born Australian man and whose eldest son Nicholas attends a university in an Asian country (Fudan University, China).

Anyone of any race who is living overseas should consider going back for the next election to vote NO to UMNO. It's the least you can do for the country in which you were born.

Elizabeth Wong.

Elizabeth Wong, the state assemblywoman for Bukit Lanjan, is a brilliant ray of sunshine in Malaysian politics. You'd be hard-pressed to find a better example of public service in a politician than this woman.

She is also a woman brought down by Malaysian politics.
Semi-nude photos of her sleeping on her sofa at home and at an angle showing her er, privates, all taken without her knowledge, have been leaked and circulated on the internet by an unknown person.

The alleged person is thought to be her ex- boyfriend Hilmi Malek. The photos wouldn't bat an eyelid in any western country- but this is Malaysia, a moderate muslim country. The police are after him- he's hiding in Indonesia.

But if you see THIS guy, feel free to knee him in the nuts.




She is only human. A woman just like me and you. A saint compared to many of the UMNO powers that be. I hope women in Malaysia mark this episode down in their memories. Remember this next time you enter a ballot booth and cast your vote.

I ask you Malaysians, how can you continue to have hope that things will change without a revolution? How can you not submit your application to migrate to Australia/ New Zealand/ Singapore/ U.K./ U.S.?

Cocoa butter is NOT gonna help this woman.

Nadya Suleyman, the Californian woman who was allowed to have multiple implants which resulted in octoplet babies, has set up a website asking for donations to assist her in raising her children.
Have a look: http://www.thenadyasulemanfamily.com/
Leave a comment and tell her what you think. I have.

I'm pretty disgusted by this woman. Every maternal cell in my body hates this woman. I can't explain why. I pity all the kids who all this woman their mother. She has six other kids.
I don't think they're likely to get much time or attention from their mother from now on.
Someone should set up a website to adopt her unwanted litter of kids.
She was a single mother of six (she is divorced from their father) when she sought IVF from a sperm donor for these eight babies. Let's look beyond the macabre circus show and see the real social issues here.


The picture of her belly just before giving birth will tell you that this woman was risking her own life and the life of her eight unborn babies. That's nine lives on the line unnecessarily.

The doctor/hospital that allowed this should have their license taken away. U.S. IVF guidelines don't limit the number of embryos implanted, but for women over 35, it is recommended that there be no more than 2 embryos. What kind of excuse is there for this sort of gross negligence and zero duty of care? The Hospital is Kaiser Permanente's Bellflower Medical Centre. The doctors sealed their own fate by showing their sorry faces on national TV.


I just hope they've got good grandparents. The kind of parents that lots of Malaysian women have. The ones that literally raise your kids for you while you get to have your career and life. Ahmad, R. (1996), UPM, in a study of working Malaysian mothers found that 71% relied on their children's grandparents to be the primary caregiver. I am almost certain that the remainder of that number will consist os maids.

How many kids in the U.S. are born to irresponsible mothers who end up abusing them or worse? Let's hope they make examples out of the doctors who allowed this to happen.

No title as yet, but let's just say it'll gross you out.

I fell in love with my Sass 'n' Bide jeans when I first laid eyes on them at David Jones- I bought two identical ones. BEFORE I HAD MY BABY. Yep. Dumb move, I kept telling myself for the past 5 months. BUT...

I never expected to lose all the weight and then some while breastfeeding a baby for about 5 months. According to the CSIRO, breast feeding demands an extra 3000 kilojoules per day. My baby looks like she's VERY well fed and on the brink of starting on solid foods, too.

So now, I have virtually no arse, stick arms and huge boobs. And the cruel joke is all I can wear are breastfeeding shirts and bras. And my Sass 'n' Bide jeans look like they're gonna fall off because there IS NO ARSE. So there I am in Westfield Bondi Junction, unable to walk because my hands need to be free to push the bugaboo, yet I have to stop every few steps to pull my jeans up.

*Sob*
I'm just resigning myself to buying new "temporary jeans" which I will probably hate.


BEFORE & AFTER

Some days ago, at the risk of looking like a typical asian teenage (I wish! Ha!) fashion victim, I decided to go several shades lighter. Maybe I fell asleep while my hair was being done or something. I'm stuck with this for at least a few weeks. Then I can darken it again.

Breastfeeding my child is something that I'm so proud of doing.
Read about it here at World Health Organization site.
Actress Salma Hayek breastfed a starving African baby boy during a visit in her role as a UN ambassador. The baby's mother's milk had dried up and Salma was weaning her own baby, so she had enough milk left to spare. There were quite a few people out there who found this disgusting, too. People who would rather have the baby boy starve than deal with their own hang-ups/ "delicate sensibilities".
At the end of the day, she gave her milk to the baby who needed it most. What a wonderful, selfless act. I would do the same thing.

Created by Wordle. Try it yourself at http://www.wordle.net

Facebook's "25 things about me" Meme

I've been inspired by the utterly amazing GirlJapan to do a raw, cathartic meme based on Facebook's 25 random things. I've already done this meme on facebook under my REAL name, and I only gave answers that were expected of me. (the facade that I hide behind.)

So here's my REAL meme- in all its gut wrenching honesty. (Er, some have already been covered by past posts in this blog)

1. My husband has no idea that I have a blog. Nobody in my life knows.
   
2. I honestly believe that I've engineered every aspect of my life so far. I don't know what I would do if one day, something went wrong, as things do in life....I'd probably fall apart. Run away.
3. I would have a pretty perfect life if I had chosen to live in Malaysia, I'd be able to rely on family connections (family's NGO) and government contracts and get rich double quick. BUT we prefer to live in a country where we are all, by law, equal. We chose to make our own careers here in Australia and we have done pretty well, too. BUT we also have money from our families in Malaysia, so we're able to afford nice cars and homes in Sydney. Oh the hypocrisy.....
4. I chose to live in Australia sometime when I was doing my university degree here. because I didn't want to live in a country (Malaysia) that was falling apart.
5. I moved away for two years to pursue my MBA when I had to face that my marriage was in trouble.
6. I had no life and studied furiously for 2 years in Singapore and Fontainebleau. They say an MBA is life-changing and it is. I hardly called my husband, family or friends while I was away. I kept up a facade for him when he visited. He threw himself into his work and I, my studies- I just did not want to be married at that time. Implicitly, between us, I've never mentioned the question of cheating and neither has he. I wonder why we don't talk about it.
7. After my MBA, I had to come back and face that I had all but abandoned. I had a baby to save my marriage and put off the fact that I had to decide where to go in my career. I know this is so wrong, but when I see my baby daughter's smile, I'm happy I did it. Do mistakes turn out this well? Ever?
8. In my 20's, in Malaysia, I had relationships with married men whom I met when I was doing an internship as a junior architect and through friends of friends. All of them were powerful, attractive older men. Three in total. I had those relationships because I was hell bent on getting revenge on all cheating men because I was angry that I was cheated on. And guess how I ended two of those relationships? I made sure their wives found out about us. I didn't want them, I just wanted them to suffer because they cheated. That's pretty twisted, huh? I WAS pretty twisted.
9. I have recently taken to hiding my husband's Blackberry. He sleeps with it under his pillow most nights. That thing bugs me for reasons I cannot fathom. When he's in la-la land, I bring it outside and put it in a drawer or in a toilet or kitchen. Shhh.
10. I am staying home to raise my daughter indefinitely- I may return to work when she's old enough to go to school. To me, it's an education in itself. I'm learning so many things- learning to let go of my need to control everything. She's changing me.
11. I really have no idea how to be a mother. I was raised by nannies who were supervised by my mother. I had no idea what real hands-on mothers do. I didn't know how to breastfeed because my mother did not breastfeed me. Nobody taught me these things and I never experienced any of it.
12. Doing this meme has taken a lot out of me. It IS gut wrenching. I feel exhausted and need to sleep.
13. I have no male friends who aren't gay or in the closet. I don't know why. My best friend found his soul mate and lately I only see him (together with his boyfriend) once in a few months. I'll blog about his "wedding" (commitment ceremony is what it was) soon.
    
14. I had lots of female friends many of whom I lost when I cut off contact with friends during the 2 years I was away on MBA hiatus (or my holiday away from my own life). I'm reconnecting with a few of them. I miss them so much, I know it was my fault.
15. I do an insane amount of pilates and yoga. Anywhere, anytime I can fit it in. In fact, I'm doing them now while I type on my laptop. Sometimes I think that it's normal. Sometimes I think it's not.
    
16. I'm fearful of the world that my daughter will grow up in. Being a woman hasn't been the easiest thing on the face of the earth. My heart aches when I think about all she has to face. I hope to raise her to be a person who is well-equipped to face those obstacles. The most important thing you'll need in life as a woman, in my opinion, is to know who you are and to love yourself.
    
17. I've been doing my research about food and trying to practice what I've learned. I've found that I have a bias towards Japanese home cooking. Not the haute cuisine you get from places like Tetsuya's, but more like what a Japanese family will eat everyday at home. Everything is so precise and calculated. I love that!
18. I don't like designer bags at all, but I love designer shoes/boots/sandals/heels.
19. My IQ is 135. Fat lot of good it did me when I was doing my bachelors degree in architecture. Never stopped me from failing a subject or two. ;) Never stopped me from getting involved with the wrong guy. Never helped me work in a team. Whatever.
    
20. I really enjoy reading anything by a good writer.
21. When we were on the JR Yamanote line at around 5pm from Marunouchi station, my husband's ass was groped somewhere around Shibuya station. Pervs left the okaasan (me) who was holding her baby alone. Was there some mistake? I'm secretly jealous of my husband... XD
23. I cry so easily now that I've become a mother. And it's OK to cry, too- it's an emotion, not a sign of weakness. I KNOW that and I'm OK with that, but I don't live in a bubble- there are people around me.
    
24. Sometimes I avoid reading Malaysian news. Why? It's frustrating. Nothing changes. Bloggers (including me) will blog it to death, and life goes on. So what?
    
25. Having an evening walk around the neighbourhood on a quiet weekday is something I love to do. I'll be sad to leave this place by the water.
    

TOP TEN GAY ANTHEMS OF ALL TIME

I love organizing things into these tidy little anally retentive lists. It's my dark secret. So now, with free time on my hands, I'll indulge:

TOP 10 80's GAY ANTHEMS:

1. "RESPECT"- ERASURE



2. "DON'T LEAVE ME THIS WAY"- THE COMMUNARDS (ref. below)



3. "JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH"- DEPECHE MODE



4. "TAINTED LOVE"- SOFT CELL



5. "REGRET"- NEW ORDER



6. "GIRLS ON FILM"- DURAN DURAN



7. "DON'T YOU WANT ME BABY"- HUMAN LEAGUE



8. "HEART OF GLASS"- BLONDIE



9. "THORN IN MY SIDE"- EURYTHMICS



10. "BIG IN JAPAN"- ALPHAVILLE





Disclaimer: Purely limited to my own taste.
Could I add more? Sure.
What about more variantions the list? (eg. Top Ten Gay Clubbing Anthems?) Stay tuned.

Edit: Embedded links replaced- 3/3/09 10:00am

When we were young, we grew up in a different Malaysia than the one we know today.......

source: Ebay
70's postcard of Taman Tunku Abd Rahman with Stadium Negara in background.

In a different time and dimension:

We were less aware of our racial differences in school and kids were allowed to the freedom to explore and play in their surroundings without fear of being kidnapped or worse... as adolescent girls, we wore whatever we wanted without fear that we were "asking for it". We were allowed to be kids. Now, as I return to visit my parents in their home in the hilly suburb of KL, it deeply saddens me that complicated security systems and personnel is a necessity.

As a nation, it seems to me that Malaysians have lost innocence and idealism somewhere along the way. No one wants to fight to live their life in freedom because it is such a struggle. And everyone just tries to get by and take care of themselves and their family instead. If you were offered money that would help send your kids to good schools, buy a nice house and car in the suburbs versus a lifetime of struggle and hardship for your family due to your political convictions, which would you choose? And there you have the reason for the Perak state government coup d'etat.

Before I blog any further:

Whinge: Verb: To whinge

A British/Australian/New Zealand (possibly South African and other commonwealth) English word which describes incessant complaining.

Example: “If you want to get anything done in this country you've gotta whinge till you're blue in the face!”

Source: http://www.urbandictionary.com

Isn't it easier to blog about the injustice of it all secretly/out in the open (depending on who cares)? You'd be able to vent your spleen without suffering the consequences, wouldn't you?

source: Sydney Morning Herald (www.smh.com.au)

If you don't do enough get arrested or questioned or contacted by police, you'd still be venting. Nothing wrong with that particular national pastime. Malaysians do so LOOOOVE to spend their time whining and whinging to each other/ themselves about the government at the mamak/kopitiam/the latest cafe in KL that's like, tooootally the shit..- but that's about all they do.

Isn't it easier just to leave the country for better career opportunities and lifestyles in Singapore/ Australia/ U.K./ U.S.A/ E.U./ Japan etc? Then you can watch and criticize in relative comfort. Like me. Like many other Malaysians who contributed to the brain drain.

Source: http://blog.limkitsiang.com/

BUT don't make the mistake of thinking that those people who stay behind in Malaysia are all noble fighters. Most stay because their family are there- whatever: filial love or $$$ spinning family connections. Some stay because of the relatively comfortable surroundings: you can get your Indonesian maid and your gardener (after all, these are the workers you gain in exchange for the drainage of workers) for the price of nothing compared to other countries. Some are scared that they can't make it outside their familiar little world.
Malaysians have always pursued money, no matter what race you are. It is inherent in human nature to equate happiness and money, as that is what modern life teaches you- and it isn't a condition that only affects those of us who leave.

Those who stay behind AND have the courage to fight: Yasmin Ahmad and Raja Petra Kamaruddin have continued to fight the good fight- and they stay for the RIGHT reasons. They deserve more support from anyone who has an inkling of the direction the country is heading in. As well as my parents, I know that there are plenty of people around who have enough money and power to lend support to a cause that they continue to whinge to each other about at dinner parties and in sarcasm-laced emails. BUT these people made their money because of the current government. They don't want to risk losing it all- they have children in expensive schools abroad whose school fees need to be paid........ I do concede that supporting your family and providing for their future is a noble task in itself....... So why are we still whinging?

In Malaysia as we know it today, cowards that are left behind far outnumber these fighters who stay behind, so look no further for reasons why Malaysia takes 1 step forward and 2 steps back each time.....