Life and Death

To every person who has lived through watching someone die slowly before their eyes.

Nobody knows what comes after death.
Religions of mankind tell us of paradise, of rebirth, purgatory and of eternal damnation.

And perhaps it is the promise of a place. ANY place at all after death- the comfort in knowing that you'll still continue to exist at another level of consciousness. That you are not totally gone.



Different cultures treat death differently. Some funerals in Eastern religions are ceremonious- almost festive, heavily ritualized and symbolic. Some western funerals are subtle, quiet reflections on a life that once was. I've had the opportunity to experience both.
Some people say that funerals aren't really for the dead person- they are for the living that were left behind. The deceased do go to the place they were meant to go- on a journey, a life that takes place on the other side. The people who are left behind are the ones who need catharsis, healing and closure.


If psychic mediums are to be believed, a different type of life exists and learning does continue on the other side. Higher learning.

Asian Fetish/ Asiaphilia/ Yellow Fever

Asian Fetish is a U.S. slang term which usually refers to an interest, attraction or preference for people, culture, or things of Asian origin by those of non-Asian descent. (Source: Wikipedia) The term Asiaphile and yellow fever is also used in the same context. According to slangsite.com, Yellow Fever is: "A term used by Asian women to describe European or other Western men who exclusively pursue Asian women. Frequently used as a warning to other Asian women. Example: I don't think he cares about you personally at all; it's just a case of yellow-fever."

Read an Asian American woman's view on Yellow Fever: Vicky Chang's article about Yellow Fever aka Asiaphilia in The Orange County Weekly.- An Asian woman's view on being an exotic object in western men's eyes.
Seems to be a popularly referenced article regarding Yellow Fever lately.
Read "Mr. Asiaphile"'s web page for his view on why white men "prefer to date Asian women" (his words)


In South East Asia, shall we say in Singapore thereabouts, we know a lot about girls who exclusively date white men as Sarong Party Girls. BUT we'll save that for another post.


And in Asia as well, there are many names for western male expats who stay on forever. Especially those who have married Asian women and think they've become Asian too.

Why do I mention this? Well, I have a dear old friend from my primary school days in Malaysia. She isn't from a rich family and she isn't highly educated- left school after form 5 and did a diploma in a local Malaysian college. I've always liked her though- she's honest and has a good heart. She has had her ups and downs in relationships, none of them worked out. She married an Australian expat (who runs a sports business) in Malaysia 5 years ago and had 2 kids with him in the same time frame. She is now an expat tai-tai who stays at home with a maid that does everything.

They came to Australia via Air Asia recently, with their Indonesian nanny in tow, so I met him for the first time. And my impression of him? He tried way too hard (bragged about dealing with this Tunku and that Tengku) and talked way too much. He tried to speak to my husband and I in a very exaggerated Malaysian slang (I think he used more "aiyo", "lah"s, "ar" and "kan?" than I ever would in a lifetime).
To my old friend who has never been overseas before, she thinks her man is wonderful because he accepts her culture so readily.
To me, I think it's a bit of an insult if a white man thinks he has to speak in pidgin English to carry on a conversation with me.

My friend is an attractive woman, despite her insecurities about her future, financial stability and her family. Her husband is a short, overweight and very loud. He has been in Malaysia for 10 years trying to make a go of his sports business. They live in a rented terrace house in a non-expat part of town. His friends are either locals or other expats in Malaysia who have married local women.

I feel disgusted after meeting him. (like I needed to shower) I feel sorry for her and her kids.
Am I a fussy bitch?

Addendum 1 (added 15/06/2010)

Definition of a "Rice Chaser": "Strictly speaking, a person who seeks romantic relations with Asians. Commonly speaking, a short or scrawny white male lacking self esteem and/or assertiveness who seeks power in interpersonal relationships by dating Asian females whom he perceives to be submissive and obedient. Also, a white male with a prurient but inaccurate fascination with what he perceives as exotic." (Source: urbandictionary.com)

Culinary forays in the last month other than previous post.

Made beef rib stew in a slow cooker. It was in there for 24 hours.
Added Cabernet Sauvignon to it in the last 2 hours- BIG mistake. Epic fail.


Friends stayed on for dinner- This is your usual asian meal with a few shared dishes served with rice. The ingredients were lying around in the fridge and pantry.
Clockwise from top left: Wagyu beef teriyaki, stir fried veggies (broccoli, tomatoes & mushroom), salad (pinenuts, cherry tomatoes, spanish onion, avocado and baby cos lettuce), Okonomiyaki (shredded cabbage omelette).


Laksa!!!!!! Last night's dinner, I tried making my own version of a healthy laksa. Used laksa paste for Singaporean curry laksa but tried to recreate east Malaysian style garnishing. I used boiled chicken, calamari rings, bean sprouts, coriander leaves, rice vermicelli, a soft boiled egg and loads of lime.