Malays = Malaysians?

Australians tend to think Malaysians are all Malays. Even Chinese Malaysians and Indian Malaysians are Malays. And all those "other" races in Malaysia are also Malays. It's naive but it's a nice notion...

1 million Malaysians reject the proposed 100-storey Merdeka Tower.

Any Malaysian with a facebook account has probably come across this Facebook page with the same title.

Malaysia was once a young, new nation eager to prove its worth. Malaysia gains respect in the international arena in the 80's, buoyed by an economic boom, under its ambitious leader Dr. Mahathir. He urged Malaysians to "Look East" (post-war rise of Japan as an example to follow) and oppose western-style globalization. The leader embarks on mega projects-at first, infrastructure developments, then commercial developments. In the 90's, it became obvious some projects moved from ambitious to ridiculous. Many of these projects were handed over to companies owned by political cronies. But that's another story.


The 88-storey Petronas Twin Towers had supposedly "put Malaysia on the map" in the mid 90's, just before the Asian Financial Crisis in 1997. Malaysia had the tallest building in the world- lasted all of a year before the next few buildings like Taipei 101 and Shanghai World Trade Centre took over.... etc- you get the picture.



Nations in economic boom tend to produce phallic symbols of their supremacy in the form of these skyscrapers. This is true for China and Dubai UAE, both nations which experienced huge amounts of growth in every sector in every financial quarter in the last few years.



Now, just as the Burj al Khalifa in Dubai has finished, Malaysia announces in a fit of kiasu-ness plans to commence building the 100 storey Merdeka Tower next year. Read more about it here and here.
This tower will cost RM $ 5 billion or roughly just over US $ 1.6 billion. Who ultimately pays for it? The problem is: Malaysia is NOT experiencing growth rates like that of China or the United Arab Emirates.

A popular hypothesis is that skyscrapers are often seen as economic indicators for a financial downturn-
"Of course economic booms tend to coincide with real estate booms, if not bubbles. I think that the moment project developers start planning a new "tallest skyscraper" the beginning of the end is at least not far. It means that hubris has become a factor again and that money has become too easy."Ivar Hagendoorn writes about the correlation between architecture and finance here.

And, looking at the price tag, it's enough to send Malaysia into recession.
Beware.


The Tower of Babel by Pieter Bruegel. (1563)

"All you Asians look the same."

Here we go again- yet another experience at the front door this morning.

Some background:
A new Asian neighbour is moving in and in the process of renovating in the last few days.
Their house is number "X" on our street- two houses away. Our house is number "Y".
My husband is in away overseas. I am alone with a child.

Before 7am this morning, two burly guys show up downstairs at the door.
I answer the door, still half asleep.

Burly guys: We're a couple of carpenters- we're here to do the skirting.

Me: You've got the wrong house.

Burly guys: (Pointing at the name on our doorbell) It says "ABCDE" (insert Korean surname) doesn't it? Is this house "X"?

Me: (Points to the big number "Y" on our house) That says "Y". *slams door in their face*

I know, I know, I know........ AGAIN!!!
Confusing one type of East Asian with another type of Asian AGAIN?
So I look East Asian, or Korean depending on the lighting to the average Australian. BUT my husband has a Chinese surname that can be confused with a Korean name and it's on our doorbell.

Get used to it, Australians. We're everywhere, as your old ladies love to mutter under their breath when we walk past. At this rate, we'll REALLY be everywhere in 10 years' time. Because you need our investments to hold up your economy.

What will you do then?

What I'm wearing today.

Yet another frou-frou hair post

Tired of my big 90's hair, I walked into a Korean salon in Chatswood and described an "Otome" (means young girl or virgin, neither of which I am) haircut in my best Japanese (two different and mutually exclusive languages, note to self).
An otome haircut:

*WAIL*

And I end up with a bishounen haircut. What's that, you ask?
It's the haircut of choice for Japanese MALE actors/popstars/idols.
A bishounen haircut:


HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?????

*time out*

I got rid of the blondie streaks so I don't look like a teenage asian boy (read: Ah Beng if you're from Singapore or Malaysia) who's into racing cars and manga.
No chance of looking like a sarong party girl (at least) now since my hair's too short and too damn layered!!! Grrrr.

This always happens to me at the hairdressers.

Tom Ford

Tom Ford is born with the maximum amount of design talent in a beautiful package.
His most memorable, most iconic collection, arguably was A/W Gucci 96:



I was obsessed with my long velvet jacket with wide lapels in the 90's. Dark maroon. I think I took a photo of myself for a blog post in that jacket last year. Yes, I'm still wearing it. I still have big hair. I love heels to death.

I am still faithful to the Tom Ford silhouette today, despite the assault of skinny jeans, harem pants, ballet flats and baggy tops. I'd have to be dead before I wear harem pants.

Women in the 90's were arguably split in two fashion camps:

Glamourpuss Gucci girls. Powerful girls and androgynous boys.

Arty farty Prada girls. Androgynous girls AND boys.

Tom Ford heavily objectifies women. In a way that only gay men can. But in this world, let's be honest- women WANT to be objectified. Just by Tom Ford, NOT by your random garden variety yobs.













In his campaigns: Images that make women and men BUY his products, into his philosophy, into his image of what we are. In his world, women are beautiful, luxe sexual objets d'art. And we BUY into it, big fucking time.

He has been with his partner, Richard Buckley (former editor of Vogue Hommes) for 23 years.

Question: How does he see the men he designs for?

He designs for men only these days..... and recently showed his first line of womenswear since his Gucci days in a secret show for womenswear.

http://www.tomford.com

Furusato, 2424 Kalakaua Ave, Waikiki

A view of Kalakaua Avenue (the main drag) from the corner table at Furusato.

Around Christmas last year, we were in Hawaii. In the artificially tailored for tourism (Japanese tourism to be exact) world of Waikiki. We kept going to a little sushi joint called Furusato.

The days were muggy and hot at best- sushi and sashimi were best washed down with Sapporo beer and grape soda.
Memorable days.


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Peace

So it's all ended again. In a 3D ultrasound, about 1.5 weeks ago, I saw my surviving twin 7 week 2 day baby. Without a heartbeat.

I had no bleeding or cramps after.
I did have a few great big crying sessions.

And after the D&C, I jumped on a plane with my daughter and took off to Malaysia. I am resting away in my maternal grandma's house in East Malaysia. My mother has joined me here too.



Good bye, swank hospital.


I have my beautiful daughter around me and she reminds me that there is hope. I've been hugging her so often in the last few days that she's getting irritated with me!

Hope emerges after tragedy

I went through one miscarriage earlier this year, just after New Year.

I was about 7 weeks along. I thought I would have a breezy pregnancy just like the one I had with my daughter 2 years ago. I took it all for granted. I thought nothing of the brownish blobs that showed up on my underwear along with mucus. I just thought it was "old blood". I had the same kind of spotting when I had my oldest daughter. Apparently spotting happens when the fetus latches onto the uterine lining. I googled it. Oh- Too much information? Tough fucking luck and fuck off. This is the part about pregnancy that they don't put in Johnsons & Johnsons ads.

I found out on Boxing Day, and as my Obstetrician was away, I went to my 1st ultrasound at 6 weeks plus and saw a single fetus with a heartbeat. When my obstetrician came back, I was already around 8 weeks. In his office, we did an ultrasound and saw a dead fetus measuring at about 7 weeks. My heart raced- I was alone. My husband was busy at work. I think I tuned out the world. I left an angry message for my husband, who rushed home, but it was all too late. My D & C was scheduled 1 week later. I carried my long gone baby with me for another week. I felt empty and I cried buckets- None of which I could bring myself to do in front of anyone. This was a baby I really wanted with all my soul.

I was angry at everyone. I blamed. I lashed out.
And........ I recovered.

Now, I am at that point again- about 6 weeks along. Much bleeding and cramps pretty much everyday in the last 2 weeks one occasion in the emergency room, too. I've had 3 ultrasound scans now- the first 2 very pessimistic about the one sac with no fetus. my obstetrician told me a week ago that I would eventually lose it because it looked abnormal. I was required to do blood tests every 2 days- showed normal hormone levels.

I braced myself for a blighted ovum at my 3rd ultrasound. For another disappointment.
It showed 2 sacs. TWINS. One was a blighted ovum, and the other had a 6wk fetus with a heartbeat.

I am now on bedrest and the bleeding has stopped. It is now light brown spotting.
The cramps are still here and I am still told to be cautious, to prepare for "eventualities".

There is no word in english that is the equivalent of the arabic "Alhamdulillah".
But the meaning is : "God is truly great- look at what he is able to create."
And I am in God's amazing hands. That sums up my feelings at this very moment.
For the 1st time in my life.

Life and Death

To every person who has lived through watching someone die slowly before their eyes.

Nobody knows what comes after death.
Religions of mankind tell us of paradise, of rebirth, purgatory and of eternal damnation.

And perhaps it is the promise of a place. ANY place at all after death- the comfort in knowing that you'll still continue to exist at another level of consciousness. That you are not totally gone.



Different cultures treat death differently. Some funerals in Eastern religions are ceremonious- almost festive, heavily ritualized and symbolic. Some western funerals are subtle, quiet reflections on a life that once was. I've had the opportunity to experience both.
Some people say that funerals aren't really for the dead person- they are for the living that were left behind. The deceased do go to the place they were meant to go- on a journey, a life that takes place on the other side. The people who are left behind are the ones who need catharsis, healing and closure.


If psychic mediums are to be believed, a different type of life exists and learning does continue on the other side. Higher learning.

Asian Fetish/ Asiaphilia/ Yellow Fever

Asian Fetish is a U.S. slang term which usually refers to an interest, attraction or preference for people, culture, or things of Asian origin by those of non-Asian descent. (Source: Wikipedia) The term Asiaphile and yellow fever is also used in the same context. According to slangsite.com, Yellow Fever is: "A term used by Asian women to describe European or other Western men who exclusively pursue Asian women. Frequently used as a warning to other Asian women. Example: I don't think he cares about you personally at all; it's just a case of yellow-fever."

Read an Asian American woman's view on Yellow Fever: Vicky Chang's article about Yellow Fever aka Asiaphilia in The Orange County Weekly.- An Asian woman's view on being an exotic object in western men's eyes.
Seems to be a popularly referenced article regarding Yellow Fever lately.
Read "Mr. Asiaphile"'s web page for his view on why white men "prefer to date Asian women" (his words)


In South East Asia, shall we say in Singapore thereabouts, we know a lot about girls who exclusively date white men as Sarong Party Girls. BUT we'll save that for another post.


And in Asia as well, there are many names for western male expats who stay on forever. Especially those who have married Asian women and think they've become Asian too.

Why do I mention this? Well, I have a dear old friend from my primary school days in Malaysia. She isn't from a rich family and she isn't highly educated- left school after form 5 and did a diploma in a local Malaysian college. I've always liked her though- she's honest and has a good heart. She has had her ups and downs in relationships, none of them worked out. She married an Australian expat (who runs a sports business) in Malaysia 5 years ago and had 2 kids with him in the same time frame. She is now an expat tai-tai who stays at home with a maid that does everything.

They came to Australia via Air Asia recently, with their Indonesian nanny in tow, so I met him for the first time. And my impression of him? He tried way too hard (bragged about dealing with this Tunku and that Tengku) and talked way too much. He tried to speak to my husband and I in a very exaggerated Malaysian slang (I think he used more "aiyo", "lah"s, "ar" and "kan?" than I ever would in a lifetime).
To my old friend who has never been overseas before, she thinks her man is wonderful because he accepts her culture so readily.
To me, I think it's a bit of an insult if a white man thinks he has to speak in pidgin English to carry on a conversation with me.

My friend is an attractive woman, despite her insecurities about her future, financial stability and her family. Her husband is a short, overweight and very loud. He has been in Malaysia for 10 years trying to make a go of his sports business. They live in a rented terrace house in a non-expat part of town. His friends are either locals or other expats in Malaysia who have married local women.

I feel disgusted after meeting him. (like I needed to shower) I feel sorry for her and her kids.
Am I a fussy bitch?

Addendum 1 (added 15/06/2010)

Definition of a "Rice Chaser": "Strictly speaking, a person who seeks romantic relations with Asians. Commonly speaking, a short or scrawny white male lacking self esteem and/or assertiveness who seeks power in interpersonal relationships by dating Asian females whom he perceives to be submissive and obedient. Also, a white male with a prurient but inaccurate fascination with what he perceives as exotic." (Source: urbandictionary.com)