Monday, July 06, 2009

Have you ever lied on your CV?



What's the biggest lie you've ever seen on someone's CV?
Big-ass, hairy, great lies. Lies so big you can't see the forest for the trees.

Scenario: Malaysia, mid 90's


I was lucky (read family connections) as an intern to land myself in the midst of mega project teams (this was during the Mahathir era) in big name firms.

I knew an expatriate (who flocked to Malaysia, just like they're flocking to Dubai these days) A, in one of these firms. His CV is online (email me for his URL), proudly displayed in macromedia flash- some highlights below:

  • He says he has worked in those megaproject teams that I was in. WTF? He was in the same building, yes but not on the same team! (Email me for his URL)
  • In his flashy portfolio of works, A claims to have worked with an American firm known for resorts, a famous international Australian firm- he even got the name wrong. (I later ended up working there and NOBODY has heard of him. Email me for his URL)
  • Here's the BEST one: he went to grad school at an IVY LEAGUE college in the States!!!! OMG, totally priceless! RFOL!! I heard he was working for someone I know (NOT IN THE STATES) during the time he supposedly went to grad school in the states. (Email me for his URL)
  • His one man band "International business network"..... !!! I'm SURE I'm not the only one who finds this absolutely hilarious....(Email me for his URL)

Listen, A: You're in your mid 40's but you can still do with learning a few life lessons. The industry here in Australia is pretty small. People basically already know you and your bosses. You'll know that they know you're lying if your phone isn't ringing. Sit there and digest that in your rented condo with your family in tow.

Now, as a Management Consultant (VERY part time these days). I proudly leave my INSEAD transcript in my CV, but no one's interested in looking at it, really. They're more interested in 3 rounds of interviews and a psychometric test.
All I have I experience with one M&A situation.
I LOVED every second of it it gives me goosebumps, but I can't put that on my CV.

4 comments:

Girl Japan: April Marie Claire said...

Yes, I totally lied on my CV about something --- when I put the truth I was considered over qualified because of said "school" I attended, but when I put minimum experience and a state college I got call backs...


Japan... in industry was teaching.... which is bollocks if you ask me but am using those funds to fund me dream job (in business for myself) language barriers aside... It is total bull shit here.... I would give anything to work ground up in a law firm.

Bengbeng said...

it is okay to put oneself in a good light but to make up stories is going overboard. they should concentrate on how they can contribute to the company n be a valuable asset

Implosion said...

April: Japan works on a completely different set of rules sometimes totally inverse to what works elsewhere. OK, language aside, what would be the barriers of entry to a law firm in Japan?

Bengbeng: Yes, ideally they should. But the world is full of twisted people. You can never see what's behind their eyes.

Girl Japan: April Marie Claire said...

I'd have to pass a paralegal test first, then take it from there.. I went to law school.. which is a passion but business is something I need/want to do, settled for teaching at the Uni to fund my dream of owning a franchise.... I really have to get cracking with the language.